One of our favorite October traditions is to attend our county's fair. It is small, and yes not exactly up to my OCD standards in cleanliness..but we still always have fun! We started going when Jackson was very young, and to this day when we drive past the field where we park near our home, he always ask how much longer until the fair returns. We went on a weeknight which had its positives and negatives: less busy, a more family oriented crowd..but Paul couldn't go. So, just like every year before Paw Paw Bell joined us! It's becoming a Paw Paw Bell tradition! :)
Jackson is just about over the little kid rides, but as you can see Preston is just starting to enjoy them to the fullest.
That can make things difficult because Jackson is now tall enough to ride bigger carnival rides that Preston is not tall enough for. Preston, on the other hand, is not scared of much so he cried and cried when he wasn't tall enough. :( Thankfully, with Paw Paw in tow we were able to divide and conquer. But, I got stuck with the bigger kid and the bigger rides and much to my dislike suddenly realized I am way too old for those stomach churning rides! I didn't get sick, but almost did! Ok..I must confess..I did have a funnel cake. :) But, still!
There is usually one moment (at least) when I take the boys somewhere without Paul where it really hits me that the hard work of taking them somewhere big like that by myself is worth it. And, this time it was on the ferris wheel. This moment is always very hard to explain...I think it happens mostly from the adrenaline rush you get from the anxiety surrounded by taking two small children out alone (don't forget plus the 3rd kid named diabetes nowadays) with dusk approaching. I have tried to explain it before..and I'll try again. But, you really have to feel it, I suppose. It often happens during the train ride at Stone Mountain..or once it was while on top of the mountain. This time it was while at the tip top of the ferris wheel (whilst I am praying "Lord, please don't let this thing break now...") and the kids' faces lit up as they surveyed the ground below and Jackson says, "Mom! Thank you so much for taking us here!"
Of course, there's always the carousel. The kids still love that. I rode once with them. Preston didn't like me "hovering." So, they promised they could handle riding alone..there were straps after all. So, I thought: "Great! I can take pictures from the sidelines!" Nope. As I watched helplessly, they began tickling, pushing, and arguing from their side by side horses. And, Preston almost fell off his horse!!! Yikes! Everyone stared as I hollered instead from the sidelines! Boys! They are going to give me gray hair!
This closing topic really requires another post in and of itself, but let me just say I have received some flack lately from someone who is really not worthy of even mentioning..and who by all acounts that I can tell is not striving to be the best mom she can be. (Sorry..that is mean...but..you'd have to hear the whole story.) Basically, she has incenuated (okay..well said) that I am "supermom" instead of being a "good mom and wife." (I blogged about this a few posts ago, and those who know me well know how my overachiever faults do not make me a bad person, bad mom, or bad wife.) Well, it is times like this at a simple county fair, when I truly realize the falsehood behind those statements. Sure, I have faults. I am sorry if they make others feel threatened or jealous or like they aren't doing what they maybe should be doing for their families. They don't have to be like me...nor I like them. People can try to knock you down all day long, but you really have to trust your insides..The butterflies that live inside me and the real tears that well up in my eyes at the top of the ferris wheel. That is when I know and believe that I am making God proud. Maybe not in all aspects of my life I am sure. But, with my aspiration to serve my husband and my children and be the best I can for them, I know I am making Him proud. This is what He intended for me. And, I am so blessed to have been given the opportunity.
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