Disney is Good Anytime Anyplace...

Even on ice!!! Last year we went to Disney on Ice, and we loved it! But, I remember thinking why in the world would I buy us tickets to do something like this in OCTOBER. You know..the month where our family is the busiest!! Seriously. It is very hectic. So, this year I was all responsible and did not get tickets. I was contemplating it when I thought Buzz Lightyear and Woody were coming (last year the kicker was McQueen..and literally I cried when I saw their faces when McQueen came out). But, then I found out (or so I thought) Buzz wasn't coming after all. Well...little did I know the weekend the show came this year, Paul would be heading to Florida for an all guys fishing trip at the last minute. And, it was raining outside that day, so what in the world to do..??? Well, Disney on Ice was what to do! :)

We ran to Publix literally hours before the show, and got some last minute tickets. Still I thought Buzz wasn't a star in the show based on the description online, so we opted for decent, but much cheaper seats. We were 2nd row last year. This year I could have still gotten first row hours before the show. The kids were excited, and we ran home to put our Disney attire on.

Our seats weren't bad at all..the camera lens isn't a very nice one though..so I couldn't zoom that far. :) The kids didn't know the difference though. I saw tons of empty seats down front, so I asked Jackson if he wanted to try to move to better seats, and he said he liked ours. So, they enjoyed it.

But..lo and behold at the very last of the show..guess who came out?? ALL of the Toy Story main characters. Preston who was tired and about asleep I think about jumped out of his seat down onto the people in the row in front of us! I was pinching myself for not getting front row seats. :) But, they still loved it! Jackson was thanking me so much for taking them and asking if we could go again next year. I guess next year I need to just go ahead and buy advance tickets.

And, of course we got souvenirs. (I did remember that part when I was choosing the cheaper seats.) I thankfully am always able to talk them into ones that are worth the money for the most part though..so that is good. Who wouldn't enjoy a night out like this as a kid?

We did have a sugar issue during intermission..requiring me to check his finger with the kit in my lap in the middle of Phillips Arena and also draw up and give a shot (did you notice he is wearing two shirts?? and that I am ALONE!) in the middle of the the intermission. But..still..we had fun! And, that is what I am determined to do! Diabetes is NOT stoppping us!

Sometimes Small is Good...

One of our favorite October traditions is to attend our county's fair. It is small, and yes not exactly up to my OCD standards in cleanliness..but we still always have fun! We started going when Jackson was very young, and to this day when we drive past the field where we park near our home, he always ask how much longer until the fair returns. We went on a weeknight which had its positives and negatives: less busy, a more family oriented crowd..but Paul couldn't go. So, just like every year before Paw Paw Bell joined us! It's becoming a Paw Paw Bell tradition! :)

Jackson is just about over the little kid rides, but as you can see Preston is just starting to enjoy them to the fullest.

That can make things difficult because Jackson is now tall enough to ride bigger carnival rides that Preston is not tall enough for. Preston, on the other hand, is not scared of much so he cried and cried when he wasn't tall enough. :( Thankfully, with Paw Paw in tow we were able to divide and conquer. But, I got stuck with the bigger kid and the bigger rides and much to my dislike suddenly realized I am way too old for those stomach churning rides! I didn't get sick, but almost did! Ok..I must confess..I did have a funnel cake. :) But, still!

There is usually one moment (at least) when I take the boys somewhere without Paul where it really hits me that the hard work of taking them somewhere big like that by myself is worth it. And, this time it was on the ferris wheel. This moment is always very hard to explain...I think it happens mostly from the adrenaline rush you get from the anxiety surrounded by taking two small children out alone (don't forget plus the 3rd kid named diabetes nowadays) with dusk approaching. I have tried to explain it before..and I'll try again. But, you really have to feel it, I suppose. It often happens during the train ride at Stone Mountain..or once it was while on top of the mountain. This time it was while at the tip top of the ferris wheel (whilst I am praying "Lord, please don't let this thing break now...") and the kids' faces lit up as they surveyed the ground below and Jackson says, "Mom! Thank you so much for taking us here!"

Of course, there's always the carousel. The kids still love that. I rode once with them. Preston didn't like me "hovering." So, they promised they could handle riding alone..there were straps after all. So, I thought: "Great! I can take pictures from the sidelines!" Nope. As I watched helplessly, they began tickling, pushing, and arguing from their side by side horses. And, Preston almost fell off his horse!!! Yikes! Everyone stared as I hollered instead from the sidelines! Boys! They are going to give me gray hair!

This closing topic really requires another post in and of itself, but let me just say I have received some flack lately from someone who is really not worthy of even mentioning..and who by all acounts that I can tell is not striving to be the best mom she can be. (Sorry..that is mean...but..you'd have to hear the whole story.) Basically, she has incenuated (okay..well said) that I am "supermom" instead of being a "good mom and wife." (I blogged about this a few posts ago, and those who know me well know how my overachiever faults do not make me a bad person, bad mom, or bad wife.) Well, it is times like this at a simple county fair, when I truly realize the falsehood behind those statements. Sure, I have faults. I am sorry if they make others feel threatened or jealous or like they aren't doing what they maybe should be doing for their families. They don't have to be like me...nor I like them. People can try to knock you down all day long, but you really have to trust your insides..The butterflies that live inside me and the real tears that well up in my eyes at the top of the ferris wheel. That is when I know and believe that I am making God proud. Maybe not in all aspects of my life I am sure. But, with my aspiration to serve my husband and my children and be the best I can for them, I know I am making Him proud. This is what He intended for me. And, I am so blessed to have been given the opportunity.

Happy Grandparent's Day!!

Well, a little late. We did celebrate Grandparent's day here at Mitchell Acaemdy early October. Yes, typically it is celebrated early Septembber, but it was our first event,so we needed planning time. The kids (and the grandparents I must say) had a great time! We made them cards, keychains, bracelets, placemats, and sang songs for them. So funny how when it came time to "perform" Preston refused to perform WITH Jackson. He had to wait and then take his own turn. I love how he is becoming less of a "follower" and more his own person.

Here are the boys with their Nanny!
And, with Maw Maw...

By the time the camera got around to the Paw Paw's it was hard to get them to pose all at once...

Lots of hard work was done by the boys to set the table and get everything ready. Seriously, if you watched the home video of the boys attempting (man, I keep forgetting to get the USB cable for our camcorder!) to put a tablecloth freshly ironed from the dry cleaners on the table, you would completely wet your pants!!!

And, of course we need silverware!

Yikes! Maybe he forgot his recipe!

I love this picture. Completely represents our life. Jackson trying to do things just right for me and pose perfectly. Preston on the mischevious run attempting to thwart all tries at perfection. :)

And, don't think I did all the work! The kids even had to go grocery shopping! haha! Well, actually it was the most work I've ever done in Publix. :) Camera in hand, you can imagine how many stares I got. Remember I always get stares as it is with two bickering kids in the cart. :)

Those grandparents have no idea how much it meant to ME that they showed up and gave us their time that Sunday. I hated to do it on a Sunday because they all work, and the opportunity for them to have "me" time is so hard to come by. But, this way they all had the possiblity of attending. When it was at TSS on a weekday morning, we always knew my mom and Paul's dad were a definite no. And, Connie had to miss work. Which can be difficult. So, really this worked out wonderfully. And, it touched my heart..and I know the boys felt loved. Thank you all! We have so many things to be thankful for, and loving grandparents are one of those blessings!

Ola Elementary Fall Festival

Several weeks ago (remember I said I would be slacking on my blogging somewhat :)), we attended a Fall Festival at Ola Elementary which is the school we are districted for. I really wanted to show Jackson a little bit of the school and how it really would be okay if he went there next year. We are leaning towards enrolling him in public school next year and just trying it. However, he either wants (or seems to) to stay at home or go back to The Sharon School. I must admit he is me made over. I hate change and new things for the most part, so I guess I should expect that. But, I really do want him to not be so much like me, and well, I'm the parent..so he probably won't get his way. Unless I really feel convicted after meeting with the school administration and the nurse it isn't the way to go, he will most likely go to Ola. So, having said that I showed him the big playground and how they had awesome Fall Festivals.

They had silly string...which by the way isn't quite up my kids' alley. :) They freaked if it got on them, and they had a hard time pushing down the nozzles.

And, they had face painting!!! Preston's favorite!! Jackson got a Spongebob tattoo as well.

And, after you played the games, you got prizes (or candy..which is partially why I am having chest pains sending him to school next year! EVERYTHING is about food! Our society really needs a lesson!:))

Here is Preston (aka Theodore from Alvin and the Chipmunks according to his daddy) trying out Pixie Sticks for the first time. Remember those???

It was a fun afternoon. They also had inflatables which we tried out as well. I did have to work that morning, so our time was brief, but now when we drive by Jackson doesn't seem so against the idea of going there. We'll just have to wait and see.

Mitchell Academy's First Fundraiser

Jackson's old preschool held an annual Bike A Thon each year where the children raised money for the school by collecting money from people who sponsored them to ride their bikes (or equivalent:)) around the school's parking lot. As you all know, I was bound and determined when I decided to homeschool to try to duplicate as many of the activities as possible at home that in my (albeit crazy) mind he would be "missing out on" when I took him out of the preschool environment. Having said that I was thinking Grandparent's Day, special Christmas days, etc. Not really a Bike A Thon. Who would ride with us? What would we raise money for?? But, just before we took him out of the school, they had already been discussing the Bike A Thon coming up. He knew about it, and I didn't want him to be sad for missing it. I was overtrying at making sure he adjusted well to the new homeschool environment. Which now looking back probably wasn't all that necessary..but you know me.

So, then it hit me! We would invite our special friends and family out to the park to do our own Bike A Thon raising money for JDRF (Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation)! I remember hearing about this awesome foundation at the hospital less than 24 hours after hearing "I am sorry to say, but it looks like new onset type 1." They asked for my permission for a volunteer to come visit our room and to sign us up as members where we would get free stuff. I vaguely remember thinking, "Oh, great. They had to get my permission. That surely means these people are going to bug the crap out of me. I'll regret this." Little did I know that those volunteers and this foundation would literally become just that. My FOUNDATION. Their website has linked me to other moms around the country who have helped me tremendously and are now my email and facebook buddies, and we are going to attend a JDRF festival in November so we can come familiar with the GA chapter. Jackson is thrilled to get to meet some other kids there who have diabetes! (And, Preston is so worried he cannot go because he doesn't have diabetes..which of course is not true!!! Poor guy.)

So, anyway on to the fun stuff! The kids had a blast..and I literally wanted to cry when they all lined up and I saw all the faces of the people who thought enough of us to come out and support us and Jackson. They all have no idea how touching it was.

And..if nothing else better came out of it..we got Daddy to the park!? Wow! What an accomplishment!! haha!

Our first (and maybe last..remember the blog post about cutting back and letting things go..:)) fundraiser was a success. And, more than anything I think it reminded me I am not alone. Even at 3:30 am when the glucometer glares back at you 331. I am not alone.

My Baby Plays Soccer Better Than Your Baby...

Ahhh..imagine that bumper sticker. :) Seriously, my little Preston is adorable to watch on the soccer field. I will admit (as expected) he notices the "tots" soccer is different from Jackson's and sometimes tries to "buck" the system. :) But, he has to start somewhere just like Jackson did. Already though he can kick that ball!


And, he takes it serious! As you can tell from the photo above as he just about wipes out!

I had to work the day they took professional pictures at the fields (or so they are called..Jackson's at this age turned out horribly!) So, one Thursday Paul got off work, and I took the opportunity to snap a few shots (with my old camera regrettably) of Preston. It is very hard I will admit to take pictures without a helper during the session. Simply because with that age a parent's assistance is definitely required!

I cannot believe this little boy is about to turn three years old! Moreover, I cannot believe I am not having anymore babies!

Ouch! Sometimes when I look at these boys' pictures, my heart just aches. Life is passing us by so quick. Now, if I can just figure out to eliminate all "mommy stress" and take the time to fully soak it in and enjoy it before it is over and they are moving out!

Thank you, Lord! What a blessing You have entrusted me with! Now, let's hope I don't mess it up! :)

Pretend I am Shelby...

From Steel Magnolias. Remember that movie? It is by far one of my favorites. I tried watching it again a few nights ago, but couldn't. It was too upsetting for me. Anyway, hopefully you've seen it so this post means something to you..if not here's the lowdown. (Well, first if you haven't seen it..see it!) Anyway, Shelby (Julia Roberts) is a type 1 diabetic, and the story centers around her life as well as that of her mother and her mother's deep southern friends. Shelby gets married and has a baby (Jackson..Yes, that is where my child Jackson got his name..from this movie:)) even though it is really hard on her body with her brittle diabetes and against her mother's wishes for her to do so. The pregnancy (which I have recently learned just as I thought that it is so tough on diabetic women to birth children..someone I know has a friend that was left blind in one eye from having her daughter..totally worth it but still...) takes a huge toll on Shelby and in fact leaves her needing dialysis and a kidney transplant. Her mother (my favorite Sally Fields) offeres to undergo the surgery to give her a kidney. The day before the procedure, Shelby gets all her hair chopped off. :) Okay, she gets a haircut. For some reason ever since Jackson was diagnosed the way she described the haircut is forever burned into my brain. Shelby in her sweet, southern voice explains, "Momma, I just felt the need to simplify things. Make things simple." *Okay I need to digress here that it has been ages since I have seen the whole movie so I am using quotations and my description here lightly.* Anyway, basically, Shelby gets her haircut because her life is about to take a major turn as she will recover from a kidney transplant and care for her toddler son all the while still a type 1 diabetic herself. (note, I said kidney transplant not pancreas.)

Anyway....my decision to homeschool really was my "haircut." This might make lots of sense or none. :) Hopefully I haven't lost too many of you. I just needed to make some things simple after the whirlwind of Jackson's new diagnosis. Only weeks later, he started school. The sugars weren't stable. The relationship with the school had some ups and downs. There was lots of miscommunication that I now see ways I could have handled things differently, but hindsight IS 20/20 afterall. I was so, so, so overintent in making sure Jackson did not feel "different" at all so much that I killed myself. I was so sick at my stomach when he was away from me, and it just wasn't worth it! There wasn't anything he was getting at the school he could not get at home. Even socialization. Yes, I am still killing myself :), but you get my drift. If you have a child that attends school, you know the beginning of a new school year and getting settled in is hard even if there aren't any special circumstances going on. Maybe I gave up too soon..who knows.

Anyway...I am getting off topic. My main point here is this..I am overwhelmed. Is it because of homeschooling? I have thought alot about that..and the answer is definitely no. Is it because of the diabetes? Sure. Is it because Preston is a full fledged terrible two year old? Yes. Is it because I am OCD? Sure. Is it because I am too busy? Absolutely. Is it because I have filled my plate too full? Definitely. Is this the time of year where I always feel like this even before diabetes was involved? YES.

So, I am trying to take some steps back and save myself. From what? Hmm..my kids putting me in a nuthouse, a heart attack, a divorce, a nervous breakdown??? I don't know. I just know I have always been a "list maker" and an overachiever. But, I think diabetes just may have been the cliffhanger to make me see how much. In addition, it made me worse simply because it was more work and more things to be successful at. I said right after Jackson was diagnosed, that this might really be God's way of reprioritizing my life. I believed it at the moment. And, felt it deep in my core. Then, for some reason things got a little stable and routine with the diabetes, and I decided to keep trucking on the old way. And, I am now drowning. It is with great reservation that I admit that here on the world wide web. But, I have to. I have to let people around me know that there will be some changes..albeit maybe small and slow at first..coming. I am undecided yet what all will change. But, one thing I do know...

In trying to be "supermom" you can and will lose the whole perspective and point at hand if you are not careful. I knew that even before I had children, but it still happpens. The point at hand I am referring to is your children. Your children need your love, support, and acceptance, and time. It doesn't matter if that time is at the soccer field or in your living room. If you are rushing your children out the door to be on time for storytime at the library, and you fall from running so fast (happened to me this week), and die from bad injuries or something else horrible (didn't happen...yet:)), then are you really putting your children first? Nope. Will they survive missing library storytime? Yes. Will they survive you dying getting them there? Okay, well yes. But you get the difference.

So, this post was at first going to be about how blogging was the first thing I was "giving up." I struggled with my decision and for now have decided not to close my blog. I started it after all for several reasons one being I love to write. However, having said that..the posts might be only pictures sometimes. And, they might be fewer and far between. I will admit one main reason I am leaving it up is because of Preston. I really OCD about trying to keep things "even" between my children. Yes, it is painstakingly stupid and impossible. But, I hate the lack of "screen time" he often gets. It was already like that before the diagnosis for Jackson simply because a one or barely two year old child sometimes doesn't have that much to write about. And, what they might I sometimes forget later in the day because it was something he said or did really quick when I was really busy and things were hectic. But, as he gets older, he has a "life" now. And, he deserves to be blogged about, too. :)

So, anyway, this is really long. Really honest. And, sounds really crazy to alot of you I am sure. Especially if you a) aren't a mom b) only have one child or c) aren't ocd or type a personality. But, just know that I am a mom (who is type a and ocd), with two kids (who I so wrongly spoiled the crap out of), who has had to stomach the fact that I am not "Felicia, the successful pharmacist" anymore, trying to keep her family (and well okay myself, too) happy, healthy, and safe. Am I always successful? Nope. Do I often screw up and feel guilty later (i.e. yell at my kids)? Oh, yes! But, am I devoted? ABSOLUTELY!